In April 2007, I started a blog that I named Mane and Chic to document my transition from relaxed to naturally curly. Thi is a more organized, linear way for me to help you learn what I learned during my 17-month transition. I put it together to save you time, money and hair. I hope that on your journey to having the hair that you want, you can avoid many of the pitfalls and setbacks that I had to encounter.
© 2012 Mane and Chic. All Rights Reserved. No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the publisher. Please note that much of this publication is based on personal experience. You should use this information as you see fit. Nothing on this Website is intended to replace common sense or any medical or other professional advice.Contents
The Humble Beginnings of My Transition
Matting and Sleeping With Transitioning Hair
Techniques, Products and Tools That I Used
Hair Growth and Retention After the Big Chop
What I Know Now That I Wish I Knew Then
Transitioning is the process of growing out chemically-treated or heat-damaged hair. Women can choose between a short- or long-term transition. A short-term transition can be as short as a few weeks or as long as a few months. A long-term transition is one that lasts over a year. The transition is over once the relaxed or damaged ends are either cut off or completely grown out.
In 2007, I began to make a conscious effort to grow out my hair. I had long hair until I got my first relaxer when I was 13 years old. Since then, my hair was stuck at shoulder length through most of my early 20s. Because relaxers break down the bonds of the hair follicle, I concluded that the chemicals were the reason I was not able to retain length past my shoulders. Now I see that my length retention problem may also have been caused by patronizing scissor-happy stylists coupled with my use of boar bristle brushes and other unhealthy hair care practices.
After the novelty of my first few relaxers wore off, I began to long for my natural texture again. However, every stylist that I went to said that I would have to chop off all of my hair in order to get it back to my natural texture. They claimed that if I stopped getting relaxers cold turkey, then my hair would shed or break excessively. Based on their advice, I continued relaxing my hair for about 11 years.
I moved to Miami Beach for school. It was hot and I was at the beach or outside by the pool nearly every day. The sun and water exposure was not conducive to growing long, chemically-treated hair. I was taking two or three showers every day and wanted to have easy wash-and-go hair. I decided to try a wavy weave. It was not the first time I tried something like this. I had tried braids before; it took an entire day to do them, but I took them out the next day. Yes, after spending hundreds of dollars on hair and on the stylist, I took all of them out. Despite not liking them in the past, I thought I would really give it a shot this time. Guess what? It did not work. The weave looked natural on me, but I could not tolerate the itching and did not know how to care for hair with that texture. I think it lasted for a couple of days before I decided to cut it out. I tried to be patient in cutting the tracks out, but the hair was so irritating that I rushed and ended up with an uneven haircut. Also, because my hair is fine, the weave added a lot of weight that my hair was not used to. It caused horrible thinning even though it was only in for a couple of days.
I was away from home in a new city and had no idea where to go to get my hair done. I contacted a modeling agency that I was working with and they referred me to a stylist in Miami Beach who had lots of celebrity clients. I did a consultation with him. I looked through his book, which was so impressive that I let him do my hair. A few days later, I was in the bank and recognized a girl from the stylist’s portfolio. Her hair was a little longer than waist length, much longer than when the picture was taken. I told her I had seen her photos in the stylist’s portfolio and complimented her hair. She informed me that she had stopped going to that stylist and attributed her hair growth to Dominican salons. She explained to me how her hair had also been stuck at shoulder length, but had great success retaining length since she began going to Dominican stylists. I decided to give it a shot.
Not long after our conversation, I met several Dominican friends and they began to dish all of their hair secrets. I went to different Dominican salons weekly for a roller set and blowout. My hair looked and felt great, but maintaining heat-styled hair was not compatible with my beach-loving lifestyle. The salons that I went to did not really care for naturally curly hair; just like the other stylists I had consulted, I realized they would not support my transition.
I no longer believed that I had to cut all my hair off in order to regain my natural texture. I decided to stop going to salons and began to transition on my own in order to know my natural texture without sacrificing the length of my hair.
The Humble Beginnings of My Transition
Not knowing what I was doing, I continued to wash my hair with the products my stylists at the Dominican salons would use. Research in online hair forums made me realize that shampoo was causing my hair to be horribly tangled. I began only washing my hair with conditioner. I went through bottles and bottles of Mane ‘N Tail’s Conditioner and Suave Tropical Coconut Conditioner. Conditioner-only washing made my hair easy to comb, something I had never before experienced after washing or wetting my hair.
Since I was in the sun or at the beach nearly every day, I typically just stuck my hair into a wet bun. I began experimenting with different bun styles and updos until I found one that took me under a minute to do and only required one hair stick or pin. Since I did not know what I was doing, I settled on an easy style that I could wear until I figured out what to do. It ended up that I wore my hair that way for the majority of my transition. I named it ‘The Southern Tease Bun’.
I began hiding my hair, only wearing it down once a month and eventually cutting back to once every three months. I wore my signature style to ensure my ends were protected from sun damage, the elements and friction from my clothes. I became super diligent about protecting my ends, deep conditioning and practicing low manipulation to help them survive my transition.
If you are interested in returning to your natural texture, you have several options:
- Cut it all off and start from scratch, this is called “The Big Chop”.
- Wear wigs and/or falls (half wigs) and protect your hair from styling while it grows out.
- Wear braids, twists, cornrows or flat twists until your hair grows out.
- Wear buns and updos (wet or dry) until your hair grows out.
- Wear natural hair sets for uniform wave and/or curl definition: Bantu knots, straw sets, flex rod sets, perm rod sets, braid-outs or twist-outs (braid/twist your hair while wet and then remove braids/twists when your hair has dried) until your hair grows out.
- Straighten your hair using roller sets, flatirons or blow dryers until your hair grows out. (I do not recommend this method because the heat may alter your natural curl pattern, but to each her own.)
The area where natural hair and relaxed hair meet, called the line of demarcation or the line of difference, is the most fragile part of your hair during transition. It is important to concentrate on this area with moisturizing and protein treatments.
You never know your true texture until your hair is grown out. I had an inkling of what my hair would look like when I was about one year into my transition, but I didn’t know until all the relaxed ends were gone. As a young child, I had a silky, wavy texture. As I matured, my waves got tighter, transforming my once silky hair into frizzy curls.
During my transition, I was managing about four different textures. The hair growing from the nape and sides of my head was smoother, silkier and not very dense, while the crown and nape area of my head produced hair that was coarse, frizzy and difficult to manage. The new growth from these two areas was distinctively different as well. The new growth from the nape and sides of my head grew in looser, smoother waves while the crown area grew in rough, frizzy waves. Once I chopped off my relaxed ends, life got a lot easier and I only had two textures to manage.
Transitioning is hard for some people mainly because of the matting that occurs at the line of difference. I had a hard time with matting, but eventually I became more proactive. It is very important to prevent matting before it happens rather than try to deal with it after it has already occurred. Even though I have been rocking my natural texture for three years now, I still have to be proactive about matting in order to increase length retention. Now I hardly ever let my hair get matted. It only happens when I am being lazy and do not feel like setting my hair at night.I recently came back from a beach vacation where I was conditioner-washing my hair every day because it was full of sand and saltwater. I did not feel like setting my hair at night, so I just wore high buns or high curly ponytails. That was fine during the day, but I hate wearing buns and ponytails at night, so I would take it down and just go to sleep with a scarf that usually slipped off at night. I packed my satin pillowcase and rollers, but all the sunbathing had me completely exhausted. I just did not want to be bothered.
When I got back home, I doused my hair with a thick conditioner, probably using an entire bottle. I left it in for a few hours, reapplying more conditioner on the roughest matted parts every 15 to 30 minutes. I applied an oil 15-30 minutes before I got in the shower and rinsed it all out. Usually all of this makes detangling the matted mess a breeze. Following steps similar to my transitioning regimen, I used my fingers and water to detangle a bit before I reached for the comb. Attempting to separate my hair into four sections and secure with clips, I held my hair near the scalp with one hand and used the other hand to detangle from the ends with my Jilbere shower comb. Then I used diluted apple cider vinegar or shampoo in an applicator bottle to cleanse my scalp. Again, I doused my hair with conditioner, combed through it one last time with the Jilbere shower comb and rinsed. I applied my favorite conditioner to leave in, smoothed my strands, set my hair and styled as usual.
How to Be Proactive About Matting
- Keep your hair moisturized.
- Set hair in braids, twists, rollers or another set of your choice before sleep or other activities that can agitate your hair.
- If you can, tie your hair down with a satin or silk scarf or sleep with a satin or silk pillowcase.
Basically, it is best not to allow your hair to have the opportunity to get tangled, manipulated or matted. For some this means not wearing their hair down in a completely natural state. Setting your hair using braids, twists and rollers greatly reduces tangles and matting.
Preparing for Sleep With Transitioning Hair
I think sleeping causes the biggest headaches, even today with natural hair. I like to be free when I am asleep. During my transition, it was hard for me to do anything to my hair to prepare for bed. If I wore rollers, I ended up taking them out in my sleep. I refused to be uncomfortable. What I learned was that not protecting my hair or doing something to tame it at night made it harder to detangle the next day and I was losing a lot of time and hair. How you prepare your hair for sleep is crucial, not only because you are trying to preserve some semblance of a style, but also because it is an absolute necessity. If you want to keep the hair you have and not spend your life detangling a matted mess, you cannot let your hair get matted.
How you prepare your hair depends largely upon how you intend to wear your hair the next day.
If you wear your hair straight…
- Sleep on a silk or satin pillow case.
- Roll your hair with soft rollers that will not pull your hair when you toss and turn. Consider using end papers on the ends of your hair; they make a big difference for me. Alternatively, you could also wrap or pin-curl your hair.
- Cover your hair with a satin or silk bonnet or scarf. The scarf may flatten your hair, but if you wear the bonnet, your hair could still become matted. If the scarf has just the right amount of tension and is secure, you should not have any issues.
- You might experiment with lightly sealing the ends of your hair with oils and butters. Using a water-based product on straightened hair could make your hair frizz up.
If you wear your hair curly, as in braid-outs, twist-outs or any other natural set:
- Re-moisturize your hair; again, try experimenting with sealing the ends of your hair with oils and butters.
- Sleep on a silk or satin pillow case.
- Re-set your braids or twists (roll the ends for more uniform curls). You do not have to do as many as you did for the original set. End papers are great if you have trouble getting your ends on a roller or just want to make the ends smoother. I swear by them. You can also reset your roller set, using fewer rollers that are safe for sleeping, or loosely secure your hair in a high pony-tail, wrap a scarf around your hairline and nape to keep the edges smooth and top with a satin or silk bonnet or scarf.
There is no cure for thin ends except to chop them off. When I was transitioning, my once healthy, relaxed ends and new, naturally curly roots were polar opposites. My new growth made my ends look horrible. I tried blending them by wearing roller sets, braid-outs and twist-outs.
Techniques, Products and Tools That I Used
There were definitely several techniques, products and tools that aided in my transition. I also experimented quite a bit, with some good and some bad results. Here are some things that worked for me:
This method involved moisturizing my hair root to tip and then applying a plastic cap, rolling the edges of the elastic up around a headband to protect my hairline from the elastic of the cap. I then wrapped my hair with a satin scarf, covered my hair with satin bonnet and then slept on satin pillow case. Why did I do all of that? Well, I sleep all over the place and needed all of that to make sure the plastic cap did not come off and that my hair would still be protected even if something did come off. The purpose of using The Baggy Method is that it locks in the hair’s moisture.
At the time it was helpful for me. Now, I would just cover the ends in a plastic cap, secure it with a satin band, cover with the silk or satin scarf and sleep on a silk or satin pillowcase. I highly recommend this method for people who want to see more length retention sooner. We all know that the ends are the oldest and most fragile parts of our hair; if we want healthy, long hair or just healthy ends, it is very important to keep them moisturized and protected.
Doing everything in sections makes it easier to style, detangle and apply product. When applying deep conditioner in sections, you are ensuring that you reach every centimeter of your head.
I part my hair in six sections. The first part goes straight down the middle of my head from my forehead to the nape of my neck. The next part runs from the left front of my ear to the right. The next from the back left of my ear to the right. That leaves me with three even sections on the right and three even sections on the left. I conditioner-wash, wash, detangle, oil, deep treat, braid, roller set, twist and trim my hair using this six-section foundation.
I used to do four sections while I was transitioning. When I went completely natural, I realized that I needed more sections because I have at least two different types of hair on my head that are polar opposites. The crown section of my hair is naturally frizzy and the curls are not defined. This section is also very dense. The hair at the crown of my head makes up 90% of my hair. You could literally take the front section and nape of my hair and multiply by three and you might get close to the amount of hair in the crown section of my hair. The back, sides and nape area of my hair are smoother with well-defined ringlets. Sectioning allows me to segregate the sections because they need to be treated differently. The crown area requires a lot more attention: more moisture, more product and more smoothing to ward away frizz and one-strand knots. I strongly suggest this method for transitioners, as it helped me successfully transition from relaxed to natural while retaining most of my hair for over a year and a half. I attribute much of my length retention to using the sectioning technique.
Roller-setting takes practice to master as it requires the right amount of tension and smoothing. You have to know how to work those wrists! Roller-setting is not for everybody. Assuming you have tried it several times before you gave up on it, you might try CurlFormers. The most important thing to do, that most people forget, is that you need to always be smoothing the hair. If it feels rough or not moisturized, spray more water on it and smooth before you place the roller. Use smaller sections and make sure the hair is smooth and straight using the right amount of tension on the roller before you move to another section. The same rules apply for CurlFormers and any other type of set.
I no longer use many of these products (and would not necessarily recommend many of these products anymore), but I thought it would be helpful for you to see what was in my product arsenal when I was transitioning. I diluted shampoo whenever I decided to use it because of the horrible matting it caused; diluting it made my detangling sessions easier. I highly recommend that you try this method or you might decide to skip shampoo altogether. I typically diluted 1 part shampoo to 7 parts water (1 ounce of shampoo to 7 ounces of water). I also used Ayurvedic herb rinses when I was experimenting with an organic regimen. The most important products are conditioners and moisturizers, choose these wisely and your transition will be a breeze. I suggest researching ingredients that work best for your hair type. The books I have listed at the end of this e-book will point you in the right direction.
SHAMPOOS
Diluted Nexxus Therappe (rarely)
Diluted Neutrogena Anti-Residue Shampoo (rarely)
Giovanni Smooth as Silk Shampoo (rarely)
Godrej Shikakai 3-in-1 Shampoo Bar (weekly)
CONDITIONERS
Suave Tropical Coconut (daily-weekly)
Mane ‘N Tail Original (weekly)
DEEP CONDITIONERS
Miss Key 10-en-1 (bi-weekly)
LEAVE-INS
Giovanni Direct Leave In
Salerm 21
Lacio Lacio
OILS
Carol’s Daughter Lisa’s Hair Elixir
Blended Beauty Natural Hair Oil
Wild Growth Oil (unpleasant smell)
Rosemary Essential Oil
Peppermint Essential Oil
INTENSE PROTEIN TREATMENTS
Nexxus Emergencee (quarterly)
ApHogee Keratin 2 Minute Reconstructor (quarterly)
GEL/MOUSSE
Fantasia IC Hair Polisher Olive Styling Gel
Ampro Pro Styl Protein Styling Gel
Jane Carter Wrap & Roll (on dry hair)
AYURVEDIC HERBS
Hesh Maka, Alma, Aritha, Skikakai, Brahmi and Neem
KITCHEN COSMETICS
Spectrum Apple Cider Vinegar
Bertolli Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Thai Kitchen Coconut Milk
Kraft Mayo
- CHI Original Flat Iron 1″ (once or twice every three months)
- Pibbs Kwik Dri
- Jilbere Shower Comb
- Saran Wrap
- Seamless fine to medium tooth rattail comb
- Denman brush
- High-quality professional hair shears to cut split ends at first sight
- Processing caps for deep conditioning and using the baggy method
- Turban towel to use over processing cap for deep treatments
- Flexi Rod, perm rods, magnetic rollers and CurlFormers for roller sets
- Duckbill clips for securing hair in sections
- Satin or silk head scarves, pillowcases and/or bonnets
- Filtered shower head with massage features
The ACV/BSM Cocktail
ACV: Apple cider vinegar has anti-bacterial, anti-fungal and anti-viral properties, so drinking an ACV cocktail daily may prevent catching colds or flus. ACV is also said to reduce or eliminate allergies, skin conditions and acne. ACV daily cocktail drinkers swear that their skin and hair have never looked better since they started drinking ACV.
BSM: Blackstrap molasses is a super food that contains as much calcium as a glass of milk, as much iron as ten small eggs, more potassium than virtually any other food, and a whole host of B vitamins and vitamin E. It is also rich in magnesium and copper. BSM is said to cure graying hair. It is awesome for women who are anemic and is said to shrink fibroids.
I am all about having clear skin and healthy hair, so in December 2007 I started this morning cocktail. I would mix equal parts (1 teaspoon) ACV, BSM, and honey with 8 oz. of hot water, squeeze the juice of half a lemon and stir. I noticed a difference in my skin after a week. I noticed less impact on the health of my hair; it still grew the average 1/2″ per month.
Experts recommend drinking this mixture up to three times a day. It is a good idea to drink it through a straw to prevent acid erosion of your tooth enamel. I drank it without a straw and my teeth paid for it. All of the ingredients I used were organic and available at Whole Foods, Wild Oats, or wherever organic foods are available in your area.
What Does It Taste Like?
This mixture is no Strawberry Frappuccino, but I liked it. Imagine mixing prune juice and pickle juice. It is not so bad if you go heavy on the honey and lemon juice. When I think of all the health benefits, it becomes pretty yummy.
Vitamins
When I began growing out my relaxed hair, I tried just about everything under the sun that I thought would help my hair grow faster. I spent a ton of money on vitamins and they did not do anything for my hair, even though I was super consistent. I would take a specific brand of vitamin religiously for at least six months to notice if they made a change. I even purchased a pill box with days of the week to make sure I stayed on top of my vitamin regimen.
Despite my efforts, I noticed only negative effects. The vitamins seemed to increase my appetite. Biotin made me break out horribly. Biotin breakouts are the worst because they create these huge, hard, cystic zits that take forever to go away. This side effect does not happen to everyone, but it definitely happened to me. My estheticians would not even mess with them. They had never seen anything like it before. The secret I learned while taking biotin was to ease it into my body. I would cut one vitamin into four parts and take fourths of the vitamin for a couple of weeks, then I would cut the vitamin in half and take halves for a couple of weeks, eventually moving up to taking one whole vitamin. I also drank tons and tons of water, which helped with the breakouts. I do not take supplements anymore.
In order to have the hair you want, it is crucial to have a plan. Creating a transition regimen was one of the first steps I took. The following questions should help you figure out your regimen:
- How often can you wash?
- Are you going to trim? If so, how often?
- How often do you want to deep condition?
- Are you going to straighten? If so, how often?
- If you decide to straighten, which method will you use — roller sets, hot combs, flat irons, etc.?
- Are you going to do protein treatments? If so, how often?
- Will you wash with shampoo or just conditioner, apple cider vinegar or herbs?
- How are you going to protect your hair when you sleep?
- How will you moisturize your hair?
- Are you going to pre-wash your hair?
- Are you going to do scalp massages? If so, how often? How will you stimulate your scalp?
- What are your go-to styles going to be — braid-outs, CurlFormer sets, buns, etc.?
I answered most of these questions by trial and error, but I have listed the answers I settled on below to help you get started. Keep in mind that you have to do what works for you. There are some shortcuts I can share that saved me quite a bit of time and frustration. I cannot tell you what will or will not work for you, only what I have experienced and what worked for me.
Here is what I chose to do:
1. How often can you wash?
I conditioner-washed or conditioner-rinsed pretty much every day for two years, except for when I wore my hair straight. Once I started doing it, it just became a lifestyle thing. I began to have a preference for at least wetting my hair every day.
2. Are you going to trim? If so, how often?
I went a whole year without trimming when I first started my transition because I read that hair grows an average of six inches per year. These days I like to do light dusting every three months and do big trims every 6 months. Dusting is when you trim off a small amount of your ends just to clean them up. Typically, I do what has been called the “search and destroy” method where I look for split ends and trim them off. I have become a little obsessive with this. It is very time consuming to go through each and every strand, but I usually do it in sections: one section per week whenever I feel like it. It is relaxing and meditative for me. I can do it weekly and then skip doing it for a couple of months. I see no reason to trim off healthy ends when I can just search and destroy a few bad ends. Since I wear my hair curly most of the time, I do not care about having perfectly even ends. Be careful with this because if you do not know what you are doing, you risk cutting your ends to the point where it looks like they are thinning. If there are more than just a few split ends, you might consider an even dusting or small trim.
3. How often do you want to deep condition?
During my transition, I deep conditioned twice per week. I used deep conditioner with heat and left it on 45 minutes, reapplying conditioner to my ends and trouble areas during 15 minute intervals. I did not have the Gold ‘N Hot heat cap back then, but I strongly suggest it. You might also consider wrapping your hair in a steamed towel or using an actual hair steamer.
4. Are you going to straighten? If so, how often?
I decided to straighten with direct heat only once every three months. You might choose to do it less or more.
5. If you decide to straighten, which method will you use — roller sets, hot combs, flat irons, etc.?
I always used roller sets, flat ironing, flat pin curls and a silk wrap, in that order.
6. Are you going to do protein treatments? If so, how often?
I did protein treatments once every six to eight weeks.
7. Will you wash with shampoo or just conditioner, apple cider vinegar or herbs?
I did daily conditioner-washes and weekly apple cider vinegar rinses. I may have shampooed and used herb sporadically, but not regularly.
8. How are you going to protect your hair when you sleep?
I slept on satin pillowcases, employed the baggy method, and wore satin scarves and bonnets.
9. How will you moisturize your hair?
I carried travel-sized bottles of Giovanni Direct Leave In in my purse and car.
10. Are you going to pre-wash your hair?
I did most of the time. Usually I would oil my hair at night or use conditioner overnight and then wash or rinse it out in the morning.
11. Are you going to do scalp massages? If so, how often? How will you stimulate your scalp?
I tried to stimulate my scalp daily using a method many refer to as “scritching”. It is kind of like doing a scalp massage with a comb. I did it very gently and I always used a scarf as a barrier between my scalp and the comb. After trying that for a while, I adopted what I call the lazy girl’s daily scalp massage: standing under a massaging shower head for about 10 minutes while using an invigorating conditioner with peppermint, rosemary or tea tree. I tried to do weekly scalp massages using this method.
12. What are your go-to styles going to be — braid-outs, CurlFormer sets, buns, etc.?
I just stuck to my Southern Tease bun, CurlFormer sets, my method for straightening, and Flexi Rod sets. I wish I would have practiced perfecting my braid- and twist-based sets more.
My hair care regimen was so strict at times that it was like an orthodox religion. Okay, maybe not that serious, but I was very disciplined. If you want to grow your hair long quickly, you may need to wear your hair pinned up or in a bun 90% (or more) of the time, using low to no heat and spoiling your hair. You do not have to be so extreme, but know that this is the quickest way to longer hair.
The following are some of my hair rules:
- Trim once every six months, using dusting and search-and-destroy cutting in between
- Only use direct heat (flat irons, blow dryers and curling irons) once every 3 months or less
- No boar bristle brushes ever! Denman brushes can be used only after hair has been thoroughly detangled with a wide tooth comb
- Only use seamless, fine-tooth combs after hair has been thoroughly detangled with a wide-tooth comb
- Sleep on a satin or silk pillow case
- Sleep with satin or silk bonnets or scarves
- Frequently massage scalp with natural, stimulating oils
- Baggy ends
- Moisturize as often as necessary and seal with an oil
- Deep condition with conditioning heat for 45 minutes to an hour at least once a week
- Heavy-duty protein treatments once a month or as needed
- No cotton towels for hair drying
The Mental Transition
Transitioning to my natural texture was more mental than physical. Don’t get me wrong, the physical part was a challenge, but the mental adjustment was even tougher. I had to unearth all the long-standing beliefs I had about hair. I began to eradicate all the myths and preconceived notions about transitioning and find proof of their opposites. I stopped believing all the negative opinions stylists were giving me about my hair shedding or breaking excessively.
After successfully transitioning for almost a year and half, I did not experience any excessive shedding or breakage. Seeing other people who had successfully grown their hair to waist length even though they had never had long hair before helped me believe that I could do it. I began to envision the hair I wanted. I became a connoisseur of highly textured hair, collecting images of women with hair that I admired and sharing those images with my blog readers. I surrounded myself with positive images of the hair that I wanted and dismissed anything other than my newfound belief system. I was determined to shatter all the myths and show other women that it could be done. We do not have to cut off all our hair or keep getting relaxers if that is not what we desire.
I discovered the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. It made a huge impact on many aspects of my life, and I decided to relate its concepts to my transition. The first step for me was to figure out what I wanted: my hair in its natural texture and long. Next, I began visualizing my hair the way that I wanted it. I began to imagine what it would feel like. I even doodled pictures of my goal. This may seem like an odd approach, but I practiced this for nearly all areas of my life and it worked for me. Another helpful practice is to document your journey with a blog or online photo album. Doing so helped me to see my progress and stick to my plan.
Other People
Luckily, no one really said anything negative to me about my transition. Everyone in my life encouraged me to move forward with it. Some were even inspired by my experience to begin their own transition. However, I know this level of support is not the case for many people. I have heard horrible stories from women about negative comments they hear from their parents, boyfriends and best friends when they decide to embrace their natural texture. I can imagine how hard is it to have the people in your life not support something you really want to do. You either have to grow a thick skin or spend less time with people who are negative. Do not spend any energy on what other people have to say. Focus on your goal and what you want for yourself. Surround yourself with positive people that support your goal. There are meet-ups and support groups all over the world for women with high texture hair that you can attend if you do not have that support currently.
The Dreams/Nightmares
I had dreams where I or someone else accidentally relaxed my hair. I would wake up really upset because the nightmares were so realistic. Through conversations with other women, I found that these dreams were perfectly normal. Although these crazy relaxer dreams are not funny as they are happening, discussing them with other women helps you find the humor.
Tempted to Relax
I was tempted to relax quite a few times during my transition, but I stuck with it and now I would never go back. My advice to you would be to find support. Seek out women who have successfully gone through the process. Start collecting photos of women who have a similar hair type to you. Start envisioning yourself with your dream hair. I cannot say enough about the power of visualization. If you can see yourself with your natural texture, then you are halfway there. It might help to find girls with the same hair type as you. Enjoy the journey.
There comes a point in most transitioner’s lives when they begin to feel it is no longer necessary to keep their relaxed ends. They contemplate a “Big Chop” (cutting off their relaxed ends and embracing their 100% relaxer-free hair). For some women, the transition period is a couple of months, while others stick with it for a year a more (like me). I did not plan my Big Chop, I just picked up a pair of scissors on July 4, 2008 (a year and five months after my last relaxer) and never looked back. I cut the crown section too much. I thought I was just clipping away relaxed hair, but a few months and several trims later I realized that the crown area of my head is just a completely different texture from the sides and back sections of my head. I wish had known that when I was cutting. Hopefully my misfortune can benefit somebody out there reading this who may have the same issue.
Best Time to Big Chop
When is a good time to do the Big Chop? I am asked this question quite frequently. The answer depends on a few factors:
- When you are ready. You do not want to regret doing it too soon.
- When you are comfortable with the length you will lose. Your relaxed ends are weighing down your hair, so be prepared to lose some length not only due to the cut, but also to shrinkage.
- When you are tired of dealing with the line of difference. It can be annoying, so if you are having a lot of difficulty or are rushing through detangling, you might consider a “big chop”.
- When you are tired of dealing with the different textures. If you want to simplify your hair routine, it would help not to have to deal with the drastically different textures. Keep in mind that your natural texture may not be uniform throughout, but different natural textures should still be preferable to the extreme polarity of relaxed and natural hair.
- When you have figured out how you are going to do it. Are you going to do cut it yourself, have a close friend cut it or go to a salon?
- When you are prepared. Have you done your research? Do you have the products and tools you will need for your new head of hair?
Notice a common theme here? It’s you. There is no good or bad time to cut off your relaxed ends. It all depends on you.
I was not prepared when I cut off my relaxed hair. I did it myself on a whim. I had a good, high-quality pair of hair shears and I did it on soaking wet hair so that I could better see the line of difference. I just cut right above it. I filmed it all and posted on YouTube, which was a fun way to mark the occasion.
If I had it to do again, I would use lots of conditioner on my wet hair like Kinky Curly’s Knot Today or Suave Almond & Shea Butter Conditioner to make the line of difference even more visible. I would have smoothed the hair before I cut it and done it in small sections. I would have also asked for help from someone I trust to help me cut. It was an impulsive thing and I did not want anyone to stop me. Needless to say, my hair was insanely uneven. A few women told me they printed out my pictures and asked their stylists to mimic my layers… go figure! The layers were not intentional; they were just the result of me randomly snipping off the relaxed ends and hoping for the best.
You will also want to make sure you have your natural hair product arsenal on hand. I wish I had a Denman brush for my big chop. Denman brushes are awesome for making sure that your hair is thoroughly detangled when you cut. They also clump the hair and make it easier to smooth and style. Denman makes all sorts of brushes. Type 4 kinky hair would do well with a D1431 (for short hair), D31 (for all lengths of hair) or D41 (for medium to long hair — these were actually made for thick, high-textured hair). Most women are using the D3 or D4, but those are not necessarily the best brushes for super-curly, highly-textured hair. I use the D3 and it works well, but if you are going to buy a new one, it is better to choose one based on your hair type. The key is to detangle in small sections and take your time. Be sure to detangle with a wide-tooth comb first. If you do not have the time to carefully detangle, it is best to wear a hat or put your hair in a bun until you can take the time or else you may lose lots of hair.
If you are going to a stylist, make sure you are clear about how much you want to cut off. Make sure you go to someone experienced at cutting curly hair. A stylist may be skilled in cutting relaxed hair, but not have a clue about cutting tight curls in their natural state.
Be prepared for one-strand knots and undefined curls. If you are lucky, you will not have this issue, but many women do. I did and was not expecting it, so I was not prepared to deal with it. To reduce one-strand knots, make sure to keep your hair moisturized and detangled. For undefined curls, you can blend the textures and make them more uniform with natural sets like braid-outs, twist-outs and roller sets. I have to seriously monitor the porosity issues with the crown section of my hair because otherwise it turns into a frizzy mess.
Regardless of how much you have to cut off to get rid of your relaxed ends, you also need to prepare yourself mentally. My relaxed ends really weighed my hair down and I was upset when I saw the shrinkage. I was not ready for the drastic change in length. Some people will respond to you differently when you wear your hair out in a natural state. Whether their reactions are positive or negative, have confidence in your decision.
Practice healthy hair care: maintain your hair’s moisture levels and protein/moisture balance, deep treat, practice low manipulation and avoid using heat tools to protect your curl pattern.
Celebrate! Buy a split of champagne, a Lambic, a bottle of Moscato or sparkling cider and have it on hand to celebrate your liberation from your relaxed ends. Buy yourself a new satin scarf or pillow case to commemorate the occasion.
Ultimately, you have to do what makes you happy. The Big Chop could possibly make loving your hair a whole lot easier. Give it some thought, weighing the pros and cons. Remember that it is hair; it will grow back. The most important thing is that you are happy with whatever decision you make.
Hair Growth and Retention After the Big Chop
A reader asked if hair grows faster after The Big Chop. After I chopped off all of my relaxed hair, I noticed that my hair appeared to be growing faster than when I was transitioning. Really I was just observing an increase in length retention. Cutting off your ends has absolutely nothing to do with the hair growing out of your head. That deserves to be said again, because if you are reading this then you need to know that trimming and cutting has nothing to do with the hair growing out of your scalp. Increasing length is all about retention: keeping the hair that you are growing for the longest amount of time. Why? The longer you keep the hair you are growing on your head, the longer your hair will be.
That being said, if you are taking care of your hair after your Big Chop, then you should see longer lengths sooner. Why? Mainly because after the Big Chop, you are no longer dealing with polar opposite hair types; what works for your relaxed hair may not necessarily agree with your natural texture and vice versa. Doing a “big chop” should eliminate this issue so that you can focus on products that work for your natural texture, leaving your hair in better condition and thereby increasing length retention. Also, after the cut, you no longer have to deal with the line of difference and the horrendous matting that occurs in that area. The less detangling that you have to do, the higher your chance of retaining more length.
I Wish I Knew Then What I Know Now
There are several things that I got right pretty soon in the transition process, such as:
- I could never have done it without daily conditioner-washing — rotating between moisturizing and protein conditioners.
- CurlFormers allowed me to use little or no heat to get a sleek, straight look.
- The “Southern Tease Bun” was a low-tension, protective style that saved my ends.
- Deep conditioning in sections for 45 minutes and re-conditioning in fifteen minute intervals was a must!
However, there are a bunch of things that I know now that I wish I would have known when I began my transition, such as:
- The value of using smoothing techniques.
- The power of cold water as a final hair rinse.
- The magic of Nexxus Emergencee and Aphogee. It would have made my new growth more manageable.
- The convenience of CurlFormers.
- The two different textures of my hair. The hair in the front of my head has a looser curl pattern than the rest of my hair. Had I known, I would not have cut off so much when I did my big chop.
- How to control frizz and how to stop my hair from reverting back to its natural state when straightened.
- How to perfect braid-outs and twist-outs with Flexi Rods earlier in my transition.
I always say that hair books are the best investments for your hair. We spend tons of money on products and tools that are hit or miss, but books give us detailed information about the structure of hair, the ingredients that will work for our texture and tried-and-true techniques.
Here are a few hair books that I highly recommend:
- The Science of Black Hair: A Comprehensive Guide to Textured Hair Care by Audrey Davis-Sivasothy
- Grow It: How To Grow Afro-Textured Hair To Maximum Lengths In The Shortest Time by Chicoro
- Let’s Talk Hair: Every Black Woman’s Personal Consultation for Healthy Growing Hair by Lurma Rackley
- Thank God I’m Natural—The Ultimate Guide to Caring for and Maintaining Natural Hair by Chris-Tia Donaldson
- Hair Rules!: The Ultimate Hair-Care Guide for Women with Kinky, Curly, or Wavy Hair by A. Dickey
- Curly Like Me: How to Grow Your Hair Healthy, Long, and Strong by Teri LaFlesh
- Curly Girl: The Handbook by Lorraine Massey
- Curl Talk: Everything You Need to Know to Love and Care for Your Curly, Kinky, Wavy, or Frizzy Hair by Ouidad
- The Black Woman’s Guide to Beautiful Hair: A Positive Approach to Managing any Hair Type and Style by Lisa Akbari
- Naturally Healthy Hair: Herbal Treatments And Daily Care for Fabulous Hair by Mary Beth Janssen