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As I enter, the last year of my 20s. I have learned so much. I’ve grown so much. I had to go through so much to get to the place I am now. I can honestly say that my 20s were the most awakening, most enlightening, most progressive years of my life. Books accelerated my growth exponentially in every area of my life and if my 20s were a movie, the books I read would be my co-stars.

I feel like we all have a duty to share what we learn especially if the lessons were eye-opening, life changing or if we had to go through pain to learn it. Here are the top lessons that I have learned (and am still learning). I share this in the hopes that something here will help you and change you for the better. I hope that you begin to share your lessons so please leave comments.

Some themes are repeated, but repetition is the mother of learning. Most of these lessons are quotes from radio shows, tv shows on OWN, some are direct quotes from books, tweets from others and some are just from my own life. I highly recommend that you print this out and review it as much as possible.

In a nutshell this is all that I have learned about life, it is so valuable: thousands of dollars of books/classes, hours upon hours of reading and re-reading coupled with priceless lessons that no book or class could ever teach. Here they are in no particular order.

LIFE LESSONS

1. Need nothing, attract everything.
2. Everything is energy.
3. Release to renew.
4. We average 60,000 thoughts per day and most of them are habitual. Challenge that! Change your thoughts!
5. Satan is the ego:”the deceiver”. EGO = edge God out. Strive to loose your ego as much as possible.
6. If you live your life fully, you will only die once, but if you are scared, fear will kill you day after day.
7. Start from the destination, and then figure out how to get there.
8. A little faith will bring your soul to heaven, but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your soul.
9. Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.
10. The road to wealth is to observe what people want and give it to them. We are here to serve. Insight + Action + Serving = Wealth!
11. Ignorance of mental and spiritual laws is the cause of all unhappiness.
12. Faith is a seed that grows after its kind. Plant the idea/seed in your mind, water and fertilize it with expectancy, and it will manifest.
13. IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN HAVE IT.
14. Wealth eludes most people because they are preoccupied with events while disregarding process. Without process, there is no event.
15. You have to get to the root of a problem in order to uproot it. Experiences come to show you what you really believe.
16. There are only 2 emotions: fear and love. Anger is just a manifestation of fear. Right below the anger is a well of hurt. Then below the hurt is a layer of love. When you’re angry, look for the core… the fear behind what you’re angry about.
17. Love does not hurt.
18. Program your subconscious mind through repetition. 
19. You think you have many problems, but you really only have one… your separation from your source.
20. Never start a business just to make money. Stop chasing money and start chasing needs. Stop thinking about business in terms of your selfish desires, whether it’s money, dreams or “do what you love.” Instead, chase needs, problems, pain points, service deficiencies, and emotions.
21. The amount of money in your life is merely a reflection to the amount of value you have given to others.
22. If you are struggling with anything in life or there’s a goal you haven’t reached yet, look for the lesson in every moment of that journey.
23. Everything for a reason, there are things you had to learn from it/them… it/they were practice.
24. Create what you want instead of being stuck in what you didn’t have.
25. Rock bottom is good solid ground and a dead end street is just a place to turn around.
26.  You add value to self when giving your love to someone who has earned it and values you.
27. Don’t just go through it, GROW through it.
28. Relieving the suffering of others is the best way to gain freedom from suffering.
29. If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities.
30. You have a right to your thoughts and feelings. Your feelings are always valid.
31. Stay on your hustle. You have everything you need.
32. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time and stop expecting them to be something else.
33. We must be our own before we can be another’s.
34. What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you.
35. To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
36. Unless you try to do something beyond what you have already mastered, you will never grow.
37. Listen to your gut.
38. Meditate, meditate, meditate… for the mind that is still — the whole world surrenders.
39. We are all here for a purpose.
40. We are not our egos.
41. Live in the now and be present.
42. Think thoughts that make you feel good, make choices that make you feel good, and take actions that make you feel good.
43. Shame is an isolating emotion.  Don’t let your past define who you are today. When we hold secrets, we create shame.  Shame  is a great barrier to success because when you carry shame, you don’t allow to fulfill your greatest potential.  Being ashamed is like a veil that covers your whole life. When you let go of the secret, you let go of the shame.
44.  If you have loving people in your life, then you have loving in your life. If you have selfish people or angry people in your life, then look at yourself and you will see that you have anger in your life and self-concern. If there are a lot negative people in your life, don’t look at them.  Look at the energy you are creating to attract them.
45. If you want something you’ve never had, you’d better do something you’ve never done.
46. Before you take any action, stop to clarify your intentions. Make sure your intentions are good and good will be returned to you.
47. Don’t text and drive, drink and drive, DJ and drive. Whatever it is, it can wait!
48. Action is the bridge between your dreams/goals and making them your reality.
49. Your ISSUE becomes your CAUSE. We are all given “issues” and the challenge is to overcome them and share how you did it with other people.
50. If you’re comfortable, you’re not growing.
51. Pay attention to your life! It’s speaking to you all the time. Life is your teacher and class is always in session.
52. Talk is still cheap.
53. Believe all that a person does and little of what they say.
54. Love is a behavior.
55. If you want something, you really have to feel like you have it already. Get in that space of feeling it as much as you possibly can.
56. To improve at anything, we must push ourselves outside our comfort zone.
    
57. To go far, you must go near first.
58. Dreams are the seedlings of reality.
59. The closest people to you are the most contagious.
60. The most valuable skill you can have is the ability to direct your thoughts.
61. If you do not express your own ideas and listen to your own being, then you are betraying yourself.
62. It’s not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It’s because we dare not venture that they are difficult.
63. Every nail that you hammer in your brother’s hand keeps you on the cross.
64. Abraham Jesus Muhammed and Lord Buddha/ amoung others were sent to us to speed up our enlightenment process.
65. Don’t debate, BRAINSTORM!
66. Faith and fear make poor bedfellows. They cannot coexist. Do what you want to do and have unyielding faith that it will work!
67. You are with the right person when you’re growing… if you’re not growing and feel you can’t… time to move on.
68. Conflict is growth trying to happen.
69. You are who you hang with. Get away from people who have your same problems and get around people with your solution!
70. Love is God. God is Love. Love feels like growth, safety, peace and acceptance.
71. There is a such thing as spiritual abuse and spiritual violence.
72. Your spending is a reflection of what you value.
73. Notice yourself! Don’t analyze or judge… just NOTICE!
74. It is the energy of our intentions, not actions that come back to us. You cannot cheat your way to good things.
75. If you have selfish people in your life, then you have been selfish in your life.
76. If you have anything negative in your life, think of what energy you were putting out to attract it and CHANGE IT POST HASTE!
77. Don’t be a victim, be a CREATOR!
78. Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
79. If you can’t find a job and want one… CREATE ONE!
80. Pay attention to your thoughts. You can change them and by doing that change your life NOW!
81. You can earn a handsome living doing something you love.
82. Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.
83. The greatest good you can do for another is not just share your riches, but reveal to them their own.
84. It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.
85.  Your gut is the voice of your ‘higher self’; it’s your personal GPS.
86. The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire not things we fear.
87. When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.
88. Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation.
89. Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
90. Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.
91. When you stop playing it safe, your spirit is free to grow, expand and create.
92. Thoughts are spiritual seeds.
93. Forgive and release so that you can be free.
94. Love is free.
95. We chose our parents.
96. We chose our life circumstances to learn lessons.
97. Exercise, exercise, exercise! Our lives love movement on every level. Move!
98. Affirmations are powerful. Our words are like magic wands.
99. Love more.
100. Be conscious of your patterns and habits. They are likely the same patterns/habits demonstrated in your childhood. Overcome the ones that do not serve you.
101. You must be a good giver to be a good receiver.
102. If there is an area of your life where you are lacking, it’s a sign of where you need to give and grow more.
103. Love is the solution for everything.
104. Don’t settle.
105. Be conscious of what energy you are projecting onto others.
106. Be the love that you desire.
107. Make space in your life for what you want: physically, literally, spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
108. Get rid of relics that no longer serve you are that don’t make you feel good.
109. Feeling good = feeling God.
110. Purge and release beliefs, things, people and jobs that no longer serve you.
111. Be decisive.
112. Act in faith.
113. Fear and doubt are the enemy, use them to pivot towards your destiny/dreams/goals.
114. Write down your dreams and goals to make them happen.
115. Prayer should be about giving thanks and love.
116. No one has control of your emotions.
117. What other people think of you has nothing to do with you.
118. Respect money if you want to have a lot of it.
119. Be solution-oriented.
120. Don’t react, TRANSCEND!
121. Send love out into the world and you will always get it back.
122. Nothing brings out the worst in another faster than you focusing upon it.
123. Nothing brings out the best in another faster than you focusing upon it.
124. Forgive your parents for the mistakes they made.
125. Count it all as joy.
126. One of the duties of the leader is to lift up those who are not able to advance themselves.
127. There are few things that cannot be achieved by sheer determination and effort.
     
128. Smile more… as often as you remember. Notice the changes.
129. When you greet someone, say their name. People love hearing their own names.
     
130. Reinvent as much as possible. Use your life and influences to create something unique.
     
131. Life is a class and everything is a lesson.
132. Talk to people, not at them.
     
133. There is no good or bad, only the meaning you give to it.
134. Stop being a victim. Your thoughts, beliefs and purpose sent every circumstance in your life in order to propel you forward.
135. If you have a definite major purpose, you will have the courage to act on your ideas.
     
136. Invest in increasing your knowledge of your own industry. You can’t afford not to.
     
137. Act like you know. (Marinate on that, it’s deeply metaphysical).
138. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
139. We are here to serve: create, inspire, motivate and teach.
140. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
141. Be you, authentically. There is something incredibly powerful about people who are genuine and authentic. 
142. You will not have the life you deserve if you are pretending to be anything you are not.
143. Every choice creates the future.
144. There is a big difference between wanting something and being ready to have it.
145. You attract what YOU ARE, not what YOU WANT.
146. If you want to change the fruit, change the root.
147. Stop talking/thinking about what you don’t want and focus on what you do want. Successful people focus on what they want, while unsuccessful people focus on what they don’t want.
148. Stay away from negative words at all costs.
149. You are the average of the 5 closest people to you. Choose wisely.
150. Everything starts with just an idea.
151. Nobody but you is responsible for your life.
152. Everything isn’t for everybody.
153. Focus on the GOAL not the obstacle!
154. Give and it will be given to you! We all get what we deliver!
155. Freedom means you are unobstructed in living your life as you choose. Anything less is a form of slavery.
156. Inaction is the greatest risk of all.
157. Take responsibility for the energy you are sending out.
158. Goals are dreams with deadlines.
159. Have the audacity to ask for what you want an you just might get it.
160. Make your good better and your better best.
161. You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them.
162. Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.
163. To make a difference tomorrow, you must do something different today.
164. Money shouldn’t be used to buy happiness, it should be used to buy freedom.
165. Small deeds done are better than great deeds planned.
166. Real magic in relationships means an absence of judgment of others.
167. The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.
168. You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.
169. Don’t spend time beating on a DUCK, hoping to transform it into a door.
170. Effect millions, make millions.
171. No one has ever succeeded in pleasing everyone, and you won’t be the first.Don’t be against anything be FOR whatever is positive.
172. If you want a better life… increase your skills. Always be learning.
173. You are the choices that you’ve made. Now, decide what choices you need to make in order to be the person you want to be.
174. Always aim to be the producer instead of a consumer.
175. Don’t believe in NO.
176. Embrace mistakes as an opportunity to learn never been afraid to fail.
177. Ideas are worthless without any execution.
178. Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.
179. Time is finite. Money is infinite.
180. If you are stuck in a rut, make BOLD LIFE ALTERING decisions to change your life now!
181. Stop focusing on your weaknesses and focus on building your strengths.
182. Decide what you want, review it constantly, and each day do something that moves you toward those goals.
183. When you learn, teach. When you get, give.
184. If you aren’t given a bridge… build your own.
185. You will learn more from failure than success.
186. Don’t be a trendsetter, literally manufacture the trends. Don’t just read books, write them.
187. Nothing new can come into your life until you’re grateful for what you have NOW! Start from where you are NOW!
188. Life is a menu. Order!
189. Change is not an event, it’s a process. Take the first steps.
190. True forgiveness means saying ‘thank you for giving me that experience’. Everything is a lesson and an opportunity to grow.
191. Stop using your past to hold yourself back. Lighten the load.
192. Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it and spend it rather than invest it.
193. Love is not crazy or stupid —egos are.
194. Cleaning is literally cleansing.
195. Being realistic is the most common path to mediocrity.
196. Pray with your feet moving.
197. If you surround yourself with positive people, positive things will happen.
198. Practice serving others without expectation.
199. Get clear on your big goals and align every action you take from now on with those goals.
200. Every moment is an opportunity to grow and move forward, stay and be safe or move backwards.
201. Our life is shaped by our mind. We become what we think.
202. Aim to be like water.
203. As water rises no higher than the level of its source, so a man can rise no higher than his personal estimate of his source.
204. There are no unrealistic goals, only unrealistic deadlines. If you fail to make the one you’ve set, don’t conclude that goal setting doesn’t work. Instead, seek to increase your knowledge of it. Clear goals provide the strength to keep going; without them it is easy to collapse at the first obstacle.
     
205. There’s plenty of room at the top.
206. Your job in life is to create value where there was none before. To gain money, enrich the world in some way.
     
207. You cannot walk forward by looking backward.
208. Words have POWER! Watch what you say.
209. By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it.
210. Sometimes you just have to SHUT UP… there’s a reason we have two ears and only one mouth.
211. Riches are not acquired… they are the simple things we already have but often fail to appreciate.
212. What holds most people back isn’t the quality of their ideas, but their lack of faith in themselves.
213. Your passion chooses you.
214. Poor is the man whose future depends on the opinions and permission of others.
215. Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tap into.
216. No one is ready for a thing until he believes he can acquire it. The state of mind must be belief, not mere hope or wish.
217. If you want to learn to love, then you must start the process of finding out what it is, what qualities make up a loving person and see how these are developed. Each person has the potential for love. But potential is never realized without work. This does not mean pain.
218. When you have a wealth mentality, wealth follows naturally. Money gained without consciousness will quickly turn to the place it came from. Awareness is the steering wheel of your wealth and your life.
219. Your playing small does not serve the world. Who are you not to be great?  If you want to change your life, change your choices. To change your choices you must change your belief system.
220. A decision made to move toward something is always more productive & energizing than a decision made to move away from something.
221. Life is like a mirror: what you put out you get back. If you’re dissatisfied with any area of your life it’s a great sign.
222. When it comes to your goals, replace “if” with “when.
223. What you can do, or dream you can, do it! Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
224. We are rich only through what we give, and poor only through what we refuse.
225. Small steps are good—they add up to big ones.
226. Rejections are not necessarily an indication of the lack of worth of your project. They may simply be indications of a mismatch of the applicant and rejecter. Or lack of good taste on the part of the person denying your request. Some of the greatest works of art and literature were overlooked by many people. In his lifetime, Vincent van Gogh sold but one painting, for a pittance. In recent years, one of his paintings sold for $135 million—the highest price ever paid for an oil painting.
227. You don’t have to work hard to make money, you just have to work smart.
228. Imagination is more important than knowledge.
229. There are three departments of the mind, the subconscious, conscious and superconscious. The subconscious, is simply power, without direction. The conscious mind has been called mortal or carnal mind. It is the human mind and sees life as it appears to be. It impresses the subconscious. The superconscious mind is the God Mind within each man, and is the realm of perfect ideas.
230. Use your strengths often. Do so in service to something bigger than yourself and you’ll be blessed with abundant happiness and a life filled with meaning.
231. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.
232. Accept–then act. Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it. Always work with it, not against it.
233. If you’ve ever felt inspired by a purpose or calling, you know the feeling of Spirit working through you. Inspired is our word for in-spirited.
234. All negativity is caused by an accumulation of psychological time and denial of the present. Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry—all forms of fear—are caused by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence.
235. More than those who hate you, more than all your enemies, an undisciplined mind does greater harm.
236. There is a science of getting rich, and it is an exact science, like algebra or arithmetic. There are certain laws which govern the process of acquiring riches, and once these laws are learned and obeyed by anyone, that person will get rich with mathematical certainty.
237. You are to become a creator, not a competitor; you are going to get what you want, but in such a way that when you get it every other man will have more than he has now.
238. You cannot exercise much power without gratitude; for it is gratitude that keeps you connected with Power.
239. You cannot change other people. You love them or you don’t. You accept them the way they are or you don’t. To try to change them to fit what you want them to be is like trying to change a dog for a cat, or a cat for a horse.
240. The one who loves you, loves you just the way you are. Because if someone wants to change you, it means you are not what that person wants.
241. If you cannot love your partner the way she is, someone else can love her just as she is. Don’t waste your time, and don’t waste your partner’s time. This is respect.
242. Self love which is by far the most important love relationship you will ever have.
243. Let go of the things you don’t love about your childhood, and keep the things you love. Let go of the things you don’t love about your adolescent and adult years, and keep the good things. Just keep the things you love about your whole life.
244. Many people don’t know about the power of good feelings, and so their feelings are reactions or responses to what happens to them. They have put their feelings on automatic pilot, instead of deliberately taking charge of them.
245. Every single second is an opportunity to change your life, because in any moment you can change the way you feel.
246. So how do you fall in love with life? The same way you fall in love with another person — you adore everything about them! You fall in love with another person by seeing only love, hearing only love, speaking only love, and by feeling love with all your heart! And that is exactly how you use the ultimate power of love in love with life.
247. You are the driver of your mind, so take charge and keep it busy with your instructions by telling it where you want it to go. Your mind only takes off on its own if you are not telling it what to do.
248. When anything good happens to you in your day, give thanks. It doesn’t matter how small it is, say thank you. When you get the perfect parking space, hear your favorite song on the radio, approach a light that turns green, or find an empty seat on the bus or train, say thank you. These are all good things that you are receiving from life.
249. Remember it only takes giving love and good feelings a minimum of 51 percent of the time to reach the tipping point and change everything.
250. Writing a full-fledged description of what you want is one way of saying you believe that it’s attainable and you are ready to receive it. The more precise you can be, the more ready you are. Write a visualization in loving detail—not only depicting your goal, but rehearsing what the particulars of your daily life will be like once this goal is realized.
     
251. You need not write volumes to express a goal; a short and simple list of items, as specific as possible, will clarify your intentions as surely as an elaborate description, and perhaps will be even more powerful.
     
252. The first step of commitment is to be willing to write down what you want. Then take some small action toward the realization of that dream.
     
253. You have to talk about what you love to bring what you love to you.
254. Love is the highest feeling you have, then in descending order from love comes: gratitude, joy, passion, excitement, enthusiasm, hope, satisfaction — these are the good feelings. Then comes bad feelings, in descending order, boredom, irritation, disappointment, worry, criticism, anger, hate, envy, guilt, despair, fear.
255. Count the things you love nonstop, one after the other, keep listing everything you love until you feel amazing.
256. Don’t struggle to change the circumstances of your life. Give love through your good feelings and what you want will appear. You have to give good feelings first. You have to be happy first and give happiness to receive happy things. Whatever you want to receive in life, you must give first.
257. Hard work results in acquiring knowledge about yourself that idleness never reveals.
     
258. Don’t be a cog in the machine, be a linchpin!
259. Whatever you decide to do, be honest, fair and do it to the best of your ability.
     
260. Being truly happy with yourself is the first step to attracting the friendships, intimate relationships and familial relationships that you want in your life.
261. While the universe is built by atoms, success is built by minutes; successful people are masters of the use of their time.
     
262. Expect to get the thing that you desire. Expectation is magnetic.
263. The greater the risk, the greater the potential success. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Be action oriented.The greater the risk, the greater the potential success. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Be action oriented.
     
264. Money is spiritual.
265. Success leaves clues. Study the people that have been successful in what you are pursuing.
266. Our perceptions of others are merely reflections of ourselves; therefore, to put another down or project negative words or energy towards another person, is to lash out at the other person because of our own insecurities.
     
267.  What anybody thinks about you, or says about you is none of your business.
     
268. Go the extra mile.
269. Always do your best.
270. Be impeccable with your word.
     
271. Optimism is power.
     
272. Aim to be a master at whatever it is you choose to do and success will follow.
273. Luck happens to those who greatly increase the chances of its occurrence.
     
274. Your outer world of form and experience is a reflection of your inner world of thoughts and feelings. As above, so below. As within, so without.
     
275. The greater your awareness of the Presence of God/the Divine/Spirit within you, the more that Presence fills your consciousness and your world.
276. Upgrade from being competitive to being creative.
277. The very best thing you can do for the whole world is to make the most of yourself.
     
278. Have the ability to protect yourself and your family.
279. We only get one body in this life. Remember and take care.
     
280. Be careful of what you let take root in your mind. Growing amazing flowers not weeds.
     
281. Honor your deepest desires. You MUST BE what you CAN BE.
     
282. Let ‘thank you’ be your mantra. Find little things in every moment to be thankful for and be saying or thinking ‘thank you’ all day.
     
283. Care for your thoughts as you would your most prized possessions.
     
284. Complaining is unproductive. Be solution-oriented.
     
285. Carpe punctum! Seize this moment!
     
286. Let go of  negative words, they compromise your nervous system and cause sickness.
     
287. Energy flows or it stagnates. If we want more of something in our life, we need to keep it flowing: receive give receive give receive give.
     
288. Stress is not caused by problems. It is your attitude toward the problem that causes stress.
     
289. Money is a kind of energy and it is always active. To bring the greatest benefit to the greatest number, it must flow and circulate.
     
290. Too little or too much money magnifies personal deficiencies, or reveals the good character that was already there.
     
291. Poor people focus on spending money; the wealthy focus on creating it.
     
292. You will get rich by imitating the mindset of the wealthy, not by imitating their spending.
     
293. Everything that you see around you, someone has made a fortune from. You are surrounded by wealth and abundance.
     
294. To receive more, you must be able to manage and APPRECIATE what you already have.
     
295. When you’re resentful, you’re bound to the person/situation. In forgiving, you free yourself and allow the floodgates of prosperity to open.
     
296. To receive good things you must first cleanse your mind of clutter and negative emotions.
     
297. When you recognize a higher power as the source of your supply, money begins to flow.
     
298. Wealth (and happiness) comes most easily to those who forget themselves in the service of others.
     
299. Your brain won’t know you’re full until about 20 minutes after you’ve started eating. So eat smaller or slower to help your brain catch up!
     
300. When you eat, take a bite and then put the fork down and chew your food. Don’t keep the fork/spoon in your hand.
     
301. If you eat meat, use it as a garnish for veggies instead of as the main dish.
     
302. Use smaller plates, cups  and bowls to reduce caloric intake also wait 15-30 mins before “seconds”, you might change your mind.
303. BLUE is an appetite suppressant. Red, yellow, and orange encourage eating. Change your dinnerware!
304. If you didn’t get the job, you weren’t meant to have it… better opportunities await you. Bless it and push forward!
305.  Love is what love does.
     
306. Building trust can take years, destroying it takes but a moment.
307. The show must go on.
308. People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
     
309. Ignorance of mental and spiritual laws is the cause of all unhappiness.
     
310. When you act in alignment with your true life purpose, all of your actions automatically serve others.
     
311. If you like something, enjoy it. If you don’t like something, avoid it. If you don’t like something and can’t avoid it, change it. If you can’t or choose not avoid or change something you don’t like, then accept it. You accept something by changing your perception of it.
     
312. If all you can do is crawl, start crawling.
     
313. To have more, you must first be more.
     
314. Leaders have vision. Nonleaders do not.
     
315. Believe all of what they do and none of what they say.
     
316. Invest your time, energy and attention in working to bring about the things that you desire to experience.
     
317. Don’t hook your dreams on things, focus on what you want to feel.
     
318. Everything that glitters is not gold.
319. Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image… otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image… otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.
     
320. You cannot make someone love you, but you can make yourself lovable.
321. Our home is our third skin. The first is our body and the second our clothing. Our homes have an enormous effect on our wellbeing – especially those rooms that we spend a lot of time in, like the bedroom. Think about how your room makes you feel and remember that feelings are everything. Clean and declutter your space to feel better.
     
322. The goal should not be to make money or acquire things, but to achieve the consciousness through which the substance will flow forth when and as you need it.
323. The greatest stock market you can invest in is yourself.
     
324. What you want may seem unrealistic, but take baby steps and it’s bound to happen.
325. No one has ever succeeded in pleasing everyone, and you won’t be the first.
     
326. Sometimes to be great is to be misunderstood.
327. It takes about 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to master a skill.
     
328. Rethink possibilities.
329. Dreams do not have expiration dates.
330. Start from where you are. 
331. Know your skills and talents.
332. Find your passion or create some.
333. It never makes financial sense to buy a brand new car, it depreciates 20-30% as soon as you drive it off the lot.
334. Set clear concrete specific goals and create a clear concrete specific plan to achieve them.
335. Remove bad habits (or things that don’t serve your highest good) from your life little by little. Maybe you don’t feel you are able to cut something out cold turkey, but you can cut down on it little but little every day.
336. Use batching to work on projects. Try to devote a minimum of 30 minutes per day of focused attention on one project at a time. Eventually that thing that you kept putting off will have progressed to a point of completion over time. 
337. Make a conscious effort to learn at least one new thing every day.
338. If there is something in your life that you want, but don’t have in your physical possession yet… learn everything there is to know about that thing and journal your learning.
339. It’s very hard to duplicate an original. Develop our uniqueness.
340. You neeed to be around people who make deposits and not just withdrawals.
     
341. Feel your pain to its core, deal with it and heal. Until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed.
342. Pay attention to your pain. It was meant to grab your attention. PAIN= Pay Attention Inward Now.
343. Don’t ask other people for permission to do what you are directed to do.
     
344. When you talk about how you feel (your pain, your shame, your guilt), be sure to say “I feel” and not “You feel”. Don’t speak of yourself in the 3rd person, it’s not outside of you it’s inside of you. Be conscious of whether you do this.
345. When you don’t show up as who you really are, people fall in love with who you’re NOT.
346. How you treat yourself is how you treat God. Because you are the representation of God in your life. 
347. It’s not selfish to put yourself first, it’s self-full. What comes out of the cup is yours, what’s in the cup in mine.
     
348. When you give to others to the point where you sacrifice yourself, you make them a thief. They are taking from you and not know it.
     
349. You can’t get what you want if you don’t know what you want.
350. We are all connected. Imagine God as the Ocean and you as a cup of God.
351. Knowing who you are is the most valuable asset you will ever have.
352. The easiest way to change something you don’t like is to change your feelings about that thing/circumstance.
353. Don’t pray for things, pray for ideas and thoughts and then act on those ideas and thoughts. You’re only one thought… one idea away from reaching your dream.
354. Rich means having more than enough. Think of all the things that make you rich.
     
355. Be cautious of anything you put on the internet. It’s eternal.
356. Stop doing. Start being. It begins with a single thought and a simple statement : ‘I am’.
     
357. Nurture your natural talents.
     
358. When someone asks you what you do, speak definitively about your passion and purpose.
359. Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different. Forgiveness is letting go of the past. It is like medicine it is healing. Forgiveness grants freedom and peace.
360. Temper your words with a consciousness of empathy. Speak the way you would want to be spoken to. 
361. We teach people how to treat us. 
362. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
363. Happiness doesn’t depend on what you have, but what you think.
364. Feed opportunities and starve problems.
365. Focus on the dopeness!

The site really has been my sidekick for the past 5 years. The support that I get from my loyal readers has been amazing as I transitioned and have grown out my hair. I started this site with relaxed hair and here I am 5 years later with nearly waist length ombre highlighted/dip-dyed natural hair. In that time I have evolved as a person. So much has happened in my life and if you’ve been reading the whole time, you really have been a part of that journey. I share little personal tidbits like when I got my puppy and right now counting down to my 30th birthday.

I have watched this go from being just a figment of my imagination to an actual business. This site gave me one of the first glimpses into knowing that I could make a living doing what I love and helping people. So much energy lives at maneandchic.com.

Often, I think about the hundreds of e-mails, Facebook messages and Twitter messages from all the women who decided to transition to natural or take better care of their hair because of Mane and Chic . I just think it’s so dope that sharing this part of my life has touched other people. I am so happy to share the things that I am learning in the hopes that you learn something too or maybe something I write here reminds you of something you forgot or if you miss the lesson at least a seed was planted. That’s a flowery way of saying thank you for reading. I am looking forward to many more transitions, growing and evolving with you.

All the best,

Kai

Since 2007, I have been growing out my hair and my goal used to be bra strap length and that changed to shoulder blade length/below shoulder blade length and for the last two years it has been been moved to waist length. I use a tape measure tied around my neck to measure my hair so the tape measure isn’t showing the actual length of my hair, but the length from my neck. My goal is to reach the 15-16″ mark. The other day I measured and it is reaching roughly the 13″ mark. The longest my hair has been as an adult is the 14″ mark. My hair was this length before, but I trimmed an inch or so off a couple of months ago.

I am hoping to finally reach my waist length goal in 2012. I only have about 3″ to go and that translates to about 6 months for my hair. Right now, I am evaluating my regimen and referencing my favorite hair book The Science of Black Hair to plan my new regimen. The things that really work for me is low manipulation and taking care of my fragile ends. For me this means rocking twists/braids or wearing my hair in straighter/stretched styles. I find that when I wear my hair in a completely natural state, that I end up combing my hair more than I would like to prevent tangles and matting. I think that coloring may cause me a bit of a setback, but I am being more proactive about caring for my ends.

The Goal Pyramid

This month, I wanted to share with you another tool for goal setting. It’s the goal pyramid. One of the keys to reaching your goals is to take steps towards the things you want every day. Small steps, big steps, huge leaps — whatever, this is what helps us reach our goals. So, if you want to graduate summa cum laude, think of what you need to be doing every day, every week and every month. If you want that new home, but feel like you are unable to afford it, what little things can you do in your life to begin to prepare yourself for the move? Get rid of some clutter, a little each day. Research properties in an area that you like. Go to some open houses. Find a realtor that you might like. Research housing programs that may help you buy your dream home. You can think in terms of actual things that will lead you to your goal or if you feel your goal is a bit far fetched, think in terms of how to prepare yourself for your goal. Every little bit helps.

So here is an example of a goal pyramid using a hair goal. I hope this helps you organize your goals for May!

What did you accomplish in April? What are you looking forward to accomplishing in May?

Please leave your comments below.

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]]> http://www.maneandchic.com/2012/04/whats-the-most-youll-spend-on-shoes.html/feed 0 http://www.maneandchic.com/2012/04/what-do-you-look-for-in-a-fashion-site.html http://www.maneandchic.com/2012/04/what-do-you-look-for-in-a-fashion-site.html#comments Sat, 28 Apr 2012 15:30:08 +0000 kai http://www.maneandchic.com/?p=4005 When you’re browsing around for wardrobe inspiration, what do you look for in fashion and style sites? Do you care what celebrities are wearing? Do you prefer street style blogs featuring women who have a similar style to you? Do you just want to see the latest trends and new arrivals from your favorite brands and stores? Is it important for you to see how many different ways you can rock an item before you buy it?

Please participate in the poll.

1. Kaftans in zip zag prints look best with the strappy wedge featured in the post. Navy and pink pairings are a match made in heaven.
2. Black and white prints work well with a pink pop on your feet.
3. Look for a scarf that has a color that is close to your shoes to tie your look together and especially if you’re rocking colors that are outside of the color family of your shoes.
4. Green also goes well with pink. When you’re looking for a fun shoe/bag combo, you can’t go wrong with green.
5. An all black romper or playsuit is great if you want to play it a little safe.
6. Turquoise is another great color to pair with pink and now you’re on trend with color-blocking.
7. Striped shorts are fun and these are sophisticated.
8. Pink and Purple are another match made in heaven.
9. More stripes and this time in the high-low trend.
10. Any shade of blue or green is a sure thing to pair with your pink platforms.
11. Leopard camis paired with a pair of skinny jeans let your pumps pop.
12. Find a bag with a color similar to the color in your shoes to complete your look. Florals are great for completing a cohesive look.
13. You can’t go wrong with a pair of gray skinny jeans when working with pink.
14. Leopard is our friend because it works like a neutral in so many instances, but especially when it comes to super bright colors.
15. Printed leggings are spot on this season if you dare, look for black and white prints or prints that feature colors that compliment your shoes.
16. Scarves are a staple and a great asset to your wardrobe, look for a color like turquoise that really compliments magenta and fuchsia.
17. Here’s that fab blue again in a clutch, pink’s BFF.
18. A bright-colored shoedrobe will love anything striped like this crop top.
19. A flirty mini skirt in cobalt blue will make you a color-blocking maven.

More Topshop…

Here are some things to think about as you plan your April 2012 goals:

What new habits do I want to create this month?

What habits do I want to break?

What do I need to organize?

What do I need to get rid of?

What are my biggest deadlines this month?

What are some tasks I want to complete?

How many pounds/inches do I want to release this month?

What food or vice do I want to give up this month?

How much exercise do I want to do this month?

Who do I need to connect with this month?

What appointments do I need to make this month?

Create a daily schedule to increase productivity.

What do I love about my life?

What do I want to change about my life and what can I do to make those changes?

Have you made any headway in March? Have any big goals for April?

This month’s beautiful journal is the heart and lock diary from Tiffany & Co.

If you’re viewing this from a feed reader or e-mail, click here to shop this look.

1. Kaftans are big this season and why not? They are airy, light and easy to wear.
2. Embellished tops are always on trend, this season look for cream colors with fringe details.
3. Animal print is a good idea this spring and it goes with most anything.
4. Peplum is back. This beautiful jade colored dress is perfect for a day date.
5. A go to belt in a fresh spring color will be an appreciable investment this spring.
6. If you have great legs, show them off in a pair of mint hot pants.
7. A pair of animal print slingbacks are great for the office if you can’t rock open toe shoes.
8. Look sporty while still keeping your chic with a pair of silk track pants in khaki.
9. An ivory clutch is a perfect pairing with your new spring pieces especially with your tan, caramel and coral sandals.
10. Striped tees are a staple, but look for lighter stripes instead of the typical darker stripes.
11. A big tote is a must for carrying around to all the festivals.
12. Keep a feminine spring dress on hand for brunches and spring weddings.
13. Trade in your dark pants for bold spring hues.
14. A light crew neck sweater should be in arm’s reach if you live in cooler climates or just to layer over sheer collared tops.
15. Cutout shoulder blouses are trendy and comfy in the warmer months.
16. Sleeveless belted jackets are ultra feminine and flirty. They look great with skinny jeans and skirts.
17. A spring clutch in your favorite vivid shade will compliment your new spring pieces.
18. Breezy button downs are fab for layering under a crop top.
19. When you want to trade in your dark nighttime pumps, tan is the answer.
20. Asymmetric hems are on trend this season.
21. Hand slot clutches are different and unexpected.
22. Cropped tops are cool for creating layered looks.
23. Springy platforms can lighten up your look and put you in a warm-weather mood.
24. When you don’t want to go too short or too long, dip hems give you a happy medium.
25. Cream denim is mature and on trend if you don’t want to do the pastel denim trend.
26. Don a light spring blazer when it gets breezy and you just need an extra layer.
27. A pair of low wedge sandals with color block details are easy to walk in. These are in coral and cream go with most anything.
28. A beautiful animal-print clutch will add a pop of flavor to any outfit.

If you’re viewing this from a feed reader or e-mail, click here to shop this look.

More Topshop…

 If you’re viewing this from a feed reader or e-mail, click here to shop this look.