I asked you to submit questions about transitioning and here are some that were posted in the comments along with my answers.

Q: I haven’t pressed my hair in 3 weeks and I have washed it 3 times but I am having problems with my ends. I have never had a relaxer but I have been having my hair pressed/flat ironed all my life so my ends are very tamed and straight. I have no idea what to do with them! I am doing twist out but they aren’t lasting very long and unravel at the ends. What products do you think I should use? Do you think my ends will curl up again?

A: If you want to see your natural texture in all of it’s curly coily glory, you’re going to have to stay away from heat. Some people are lucky in that their hair reverts to a curly/coily state after a couple of super moisturizing deep treatments, but sometimes the heat damage is so bad that the curls/coils never come back. You can decide to cut them off or gradually grow them out. In the meantime, try to blend the ends with your natural texture by doing twist/braid outs and rolling the ends on perm rods or flexi rods to get a tight natural-looking curl/coil. As for products, you can read 101 Best Products for Curly Hair or visit product review sites like Makeup Alley or Naturally Curly’s Curlmart. My personal favorites are any Aubrey Organics or Giovanni conditioners for deep conditioning and Kinky Curly’s Knot Today and Carol’s Daughter Hair Milk Lite for leave-ins/setting agents.


Q: I read and hear a lot about naturals having to moisturize daily (usually with shea butter) and seal with one or more natural oils. I’m wondering if this is necessary for those in transition? I still have 8-9 inches of relaxed hair and oiling it that often will weigh my hair down heavily and turn it into a greasy mess. Does the shea butter and oil regimen benefit only full naturals? Or should transitioners be doing so as well?

A: You have to do what works for you. You definitely want to keep your hair moisturized and be proactive about it (transitioning or not), but you may not need to do it everyday. My hair is easily weighed down and can feel greasy too if I have a heavy hand, but some people need to do that to keep their hair from drying out. Heavy butters and oils can be too much on certain hair types. You might try lighter oils and leave ins.  Moisturize whenever you feel like you need it.


Q: Next month (July), will mark my 3 year break-up with perms. I’ve told everyone I know. No one really cares b/c I change my hair styles every other month. But it’s exciting. I have yet to wear out my natural hair. I’m not yet comfortable with the look. For the past 3 years I’ve had braids and weaves to help my hair grow. I use oils and greases but of course my front edges are a mess. What do you recommend to help my edges grow and what steps can I take to getting my natural hair soft? A few friends recommended that I find a good dominican salon and have them train my curls. I’m at a lost.

A: Congrats, that is exciting! First, why aren’t you comfortable? Explore that. List all the negative thoughts you have surrounding your new look. Really go deep and figure it out. Try to flip all the negatives to positives. Surround yourself with inspiring images of women that have a similar hair type as you. Step up your game in other areas of your life that you do feel comfortable and confident in. Look at yourself in the mirror and say all the things you love about your hair. Wear your best outfits and give yourself a fashion show. Do it everyday before you sleep and when you wake up. Eventually, if you’re diligent, you will grow to love it and be more comfortable and confident rocking it. If you’re trying to repair your edges, you want to stay away from high tension hair styles: too tight braids, ponytails and weaves. You might also consider getting rid of brushes and fine tooth combs. You might even see a dermatologist to check for traction alopecia which is kind of common in women that wear weaves and braids often. I don’t think going to a Dominican Salon is the answer if you’re trying to repair your edges, they use round brushes and a lot of heat. If you’re serious about repairing that damage, stick to no-tension, low-manipulation natural hair styles. You can smooth your edges without a brush by wetting and moisturizing your edges and then tying it down with a scarf for about 15 minutes for smoother edges without using brushes or gels.

A reader wrote:

I need major hair help. I am transitioning and have about 1/3 left of relaxed hair. The ends are awful and thin while the crown and base are HUGE. I’m so frustrated and needing a change.

If you’re really frustrated, it may be time for you to do The Big Chop and let go of those relaxed ends. You should read Preparing for the Big Chop and When To Cut Off All Your Relaxed Ends. Ultimately, you have to do what makes you happy. Doing The Big Chop could possibly make loving your hair a whole lot easier. Give it some thought, weigh the pros and cons. It’s hair, it will grow back. The most important thing is you are happy with whatever decision you make. There is no cure to fix the thin ends except to chop them off. You can try blending them by wearing roller sets, braid outs and twist outs if you can’t let go, but if they are as bad as you say they are, they will have to come off eventually. 


One day I was so frustrated with transitioning that I just took the leap and chopped off my relaxed ends. I felt a little regret in the first couple of weeks, but I got over it when I realized how much easier it was to deal with my hair without the line of difference and the thin relaxed ends. I began to see a dramatic difference in how much length I gained after I chopped off my relaxed hair and how much healthier my hair looked without the relaxed ends.


Enjoy the journey! 

Kristen asked…

Do you have any info and/or opinions on going natural without the big chop. I have shoulder legnth hair that I get lightly relaxed every 6 weeks. It seems pretty healthy; however, I know it can be healthier. I really haven’t had natural hair since a child. I don’t know what my natural curl pattern will look like. I’m afraid going natural may cause me more damage because of new growth or tangles. Need help making a decision. Oh, I love my length so I don’t know what to do.

Kristen, sounds like you want to become a transitioner. A transitioner is someone that wants to grow out their relaxer and be completely natural. This blog was started to document my journey from relaxed hair through my one and a half year transition to now finally being natural for two years.

I suggest you start by reading the following posts:

• How to Start Transitioning
• All Mane and Chic Posts on Transitioning
• Transitioning Basics
• Styles to Wear While Transitioning
• Must Have Tools for Transitioners
  
• Sleeping While Transitioning
• When To Cut Off All Your Relaxed Ends
• Dry, Transitioning Hair
• Perfect Style for Transitioners and Undefined Curls

A reader asked if hair grows faster after “The Big Chop”. After I chopped off all of my relaxed hair, I noticed that I retained more length quicker than when I was transitioning. My hair appeared to be growing faster, but really it was just an increase in length retention. Cutting off your ends has absolutely nothing to do with the hair growing out of your head. That deserves to be said again because if you’re reading this blog then I’m going to really need you to know that trimming and cutting has nothing to do with the hair growing out of your scalp. It’s all about retention: keeping the hair that you are growing for the longest amount of time. Why? The longer you keep the hair on your head that you are growing, the longer your hair will be. So, again…

Cutting or trimming your ends has absolutely nothing to do with the hair growing out of your head. Cutting or trimming your hair WILL NOT make your hair grow faster!

That being said, if you are taking care of your hair after your “Big Chop”, then you should see longer lengths quicker. Why? Mainly because after the BC, you are no longer dealing with polar opposite hair types. What works for your relaxed hair may not necessarily agree with your natural hair and vice versa. Doing the BC should eliminate this issue so that you can focus on products that work for your natural hair, leaving your hair in better condition, thus increasing length retention. Also, after the BC, you no longer have to deal with the line of difference (where relaxed hair meets natural hair) and the horrendous matting at the line of difference. The more detangling you do, the higher the chance that you will suffer breakage and hair loss.

A popular question readers ask…

“I’m XX months into my transition, what do I do to my hair at night to prepare for bed?”

One of the biggest issues with transitioning is matting. Yes, I know it all too well. I think sleeping is what causes me the biggest headaches when it comes to my hair. Yes, even today as a natural. I like to be free when I’m sleep. During my transition, it was hard for me to do anything to my hair to prepare for bed. If I wore rollers, I ended up taking them out in my sleep. I refuse to be uncomfortable. I would typically just sleep on a satin or silk pillowcase with a satin bonnet. What I learned is that not protecting my hair or doing something to tame it at night, made it harder to detangle the next day and I was loosing a lot of time and hair. How you prepare your hair for sleep is crucial, not only because you’re trying to preserve some semblance of a style, but also because it’s an absolute necessity. If you want to keep the hair you have and not spend your life detangling a matted mess, don’t let your hair get matted.

How you prepare your hair depends largely upon how you intend to wear your hair the next day.

If you wear your hair straight…

• Sleep on a silk or satin pillow case.
• Roll your hair with soft rollers that won’t pull your hair when you toss and turn. Consider using end papers on the ends of your hair, they make a big difference for me.
• OR Wrap your hair.
• OR Pin curl your hair.
• Cover your hair with a satin or silk bonnet or scarf. The scarf may flatten your hair, but if you wear the bonnet, your hair could still matt. If the scarf has just the right tension and is secure, you shouldn’t have any issues.
• You might experiment with sealing the ends of your hair with oils and butters. Using a water-based product on straightened hair could make your hair frizz up.

There comes a point in most women’s transitions when they begin to feel it’s no longer necessary to keep their relaxed ends. They contemplate a Big Chop (cutting off their relaxed ends and becoming 100% natural). For some women the transition period is a couple of months, for some a few months and then there are the long term transitioning that stick in there for a year a more (like me). I didn’t plan my Big Chop, I just picked up a pair of scissors on July 4, 2008 (a year and a half after my last relaxer) and never looked back. “When should I BC?” is one of Mane & Chic’s most asked questions. Here’s my answer on when you should Big Chop.

Transitioners Thursday is in full effect and this week it’s all about moisture.

Three readers asked:

“How do you keep transitioning hair moisturized and supple instead of dry and brittle?”

“What do you do for transitioning hair that is extremely dry? Even with regular deep conditioning, co-washing and sealing in moisture with oils. What are good natural products that provide extreme moisture?”

“What is the best way to keep both hair types moisturized during transitioning?” 

Dry hair can be easy to fix or very involved and complicated. The most obvious reason for dry hair is that you aren’t moisturizing enough, but if you feel like you moisturize enough and you are doing everything right then your dryness could be the result of bad product choices, porosity issues, an imbalance of moisture/protein and even a signal internal health issues. Because you are transitioning, you have to pay attention to and treat at least two very different hair types (maybe even more). Here are a list of questions you should ask yourself and resources on how to fix your hair woes.

A reader asked…

I’m 8 months into transitioning, I wanted to know what are the best styles to wear my hair in? I know when transitioning that your relaxed ends tend to break off, and I don’t want to always blow dry and flat iron. I’m not very keen on wearing weave but I’ll wear it if need to be. So I was just wondering what hair styles are safe? During the beginning of a transition are the curls in the front of your head a little more defined? My curls in the back sometimes don’t even look like curls. I’m hoping that they grow more into curls.

A lot of women have issues with undefined curls. For me my trouble area is the crown of my head. That’s just one of things that comes along with being natural that you need to be aware of. You can’t know what you’re dealing with until you get rid of all the relaxed ends. Then it could be heat damage in those areas. In either case, you can use the styling method I use below to blend that hair.

One of my favorite styles for transitioners is a braid-out/flexi rods set. This is something I wish I would have tried during my transition. I probably would have transitioned longer and kept my length. This style works for everybody from relaxed to transitioners to naturals. Now, I braid my hair 1/2 – 3/4 of the way down and spiral curl my ends with my red flexi rods.

Here a few photos: the 3/4 braid, adding the end paper and the spiraled flexi rod.

I typically use the red or light blue flexi rods.

On wet hair: I set with Kinky Curly Knot Today or Aussie Moist. I also use end papers. End papers (or end wraps — whatever you want to call them) are a must in my book. They keep the ends smooth on the roller which is especially good for those of us with uneven ends and curly hair. They make all the difference. You also want to make sure the hair is super smooth by smoothing it between your fingers before you start the braid and then again before you roll. Basically use your fingers like a flat iron and smooth them down the hair shaft… you may have to do this several times before it’s smooth to your satisfaction… that’s something you’re going to have to experiment with to see what you prefer.

I do about 10-20 braids and sleep with a satin bonnet. I take the rollers out and undo do braids in the morning and go. At night, I moisturize with whatever leave-in I have on hand (Carol’s Daughter Hair Milk), seal the ends with shea butter or oil and re-braid and set the hair. I try not to detangle or comb, just work with the braids (waves) and curls that were there the day before.

Repost, originally posted 6/25/09.

A reader asked…

“After a year or so of transitioning, how should I prepare for the big chop?”

Mane & Chic responds:

Are you cutting it yourself, having a friend or family member do it or going to a stylist?

I did it myself. I didn’t really do anything to prepare because I kind of just did it on a whim after a year and a half long transition. I had a good high quality pair of hair shears and I did it on soaking wet hair so that I could better see the line of difference/demarcation and just cut right above it. I filmed it all and posted on YouTube. That was fun. If I had it to do again, I would use lots of conditioner on my wet hair like Knot Today or Aussie Moist to make the line of difference even more visible. I would also ask for help from someone I trust to help me cut because my hair was jacked up the way I cut it. I just wanted the relaxed ends gone. It was an impulsive thing and I didn’t want anyone to stop me. Needless to say, it was insanely uneven. A few women told me they printed out my pictures and asked their stylists to mimic my layers… go figure. Yeah, those weren’t layers, they were me just snipping off the relaxed ends.

You also want to make sure you have your natural hair product arsenal on hand, I love Knot Today. I wish I had it when I big chopped. Aussie Moist might work too, but the big chop is a special occasion might as well use the good stuff. You might also consider getting a Denman brush (maybe). I wish I had a Denman brush for my big chop. You want to make sure your hair is really detangled when you Big Chop and Denmans are awesome for that! They make curls pop. Denman makes all sorts of brushes. Type 4 kinky hair would do well with a D1431(short hair), D31(good for all lengths of hair) the or D41 (medium-long hair) they were actually made for thick afro-textured hair. Most women are using the D3 or D4, but those aren’t the right brushes for super curly afro textured hair. I use the D3 and it works fine, but if you’re going to buy a new one better to get one I listed above. A lot of women fear the Denman makes them loose hair and I don’t use it much except when I really need a good detangling and during the big chop is a great time to pull out that Denman or a seamless fine tooth comb. The key is to detangle in small sections and don’t rush it. If you don’t have the time to carefully detangle, it is best to wear a hat or put your hair in a bun until you can take the time and care or else you will loose LOTS of hair.

If you’re going to a stylist, make sure you are clear about how much you want to cut off. Make sure you go to someone experienced at cutting curly hair. A stylist may be skilled in cutting relaxed hair, but don’t have a clue about cutting tightly curly natural hair.

Be prepared for one strand knots and undefined curls. If you’re lucky you won’t have this issue, but many women do. I did and no one told me. I didn’t read about it, I had no clue so I was NOT prepared. You just need to make sure to never let your hair get matted up and keep it moisturized to reduce one strand knots. Undefined curls and having different textures is just the nature of being natural. You can blend the parts that won’t curl and reduce heat to decrease chances of it ruining your curl pattern, but that’s really all you can do for now.


You also need to prepare yourself mentally. My relaxed ends really weighed my hair down and I was upset when I saw the shrinkage. I wasn’t ready for the drastic change in length. I don’t know how much you have to cut off to get rid of the relaxed ends, but just be prepared for that. Be prepared to be natural. Some people will respond to you differently when you wear your hair out in a natural state. It could be good or bad, but just get your mind right and be confident in your decision.

Other than all of that just practice healthy hair care: daily moisturizing, weekly deep conditioners, knowing the protein/moisture balance, low manipulation, low to no use of heat tools (to protect your curl pattern) and you should be good.

Celebrate!  Buy champagne, sparkling Moscato or sparkling cider and have it on hand to celebrate your liberation from your relaxed ends. Buy yourself a new satin scarf and pillow case to sleep on.

What are the most crucial things you think every transitioner must know. What are things that you wish you would have known during your transition? Isn’t it more than a physical transition? How have you grown as a person? What new things have you learned about yourself and the others since you decided to stop getting relaxers?