Have you ever gotten to the deepest meaning for any of your goals? If growing your hair long is your goal, why do you want that? Because you like the way it looks? Couldn’t you just get a weave? Yes, but you want it to be growing out of your scalp, you want it to be yours? Do you do it because you want a man to be able to run his fingers through your hair? Why? Do you do it so other women can envy you? Why? Do you do it for yourself so that you can feel like you’ve accomplished something difficult to do? Do you like the challenge? Do you know the deeper meanings of your goals?

Single ladies that are marriage-minded, why do you want to get married? So you can have a two income household? Couldn’t you get a roommate? No, you want someone to love on. Maybe you want to be loved. Couldn’t you get that from friends and family. Or maybe you want stability and security. Can you find that in yourself? Have you tried?

Maybe you want lots of money? Why? To buy nice things? Why? Because they make you feel good and make you happy. Couldn’t you find other people/things that don’t require money to make you happy. Or maybe you’re in debt and you want to pay it off, but why? So you can be free?

Have you ever just considered, really… just why? In finding your why, you might come to find that the thing you want so desperately is not what you want at all or maybe there are alternatives or perhaps it will increase your passion to reach a certain goal when you know the true meaning of your desires. Perhaps when you’re clear on what it is that you really want, the steps will be clearer on how to get it. Or even better, maybe you realize that you already have exactly what you want.

It’s great to have goals, but challenge yourself to ask why.

Why? Because I’ve seen it make drastic changes in my life. My life has been more efficient and more focused since I discovered my why. I don’t have all of the answers, but there are specific areas I focus on at any given time. I think it would help you too. If big goals are too intense for you to question, start with something small and watch it work for you.

This may be a no brainer for some of you, or shocking for some. How much do you think these shoes are? Take the poll and don’t cheat, you’ll ruin the fun. Once you’re done with the poll, you can click the shoe to find the price. Happy Guessing!

Every second is a decision, a decision to move close to your dreams. Every day you make small decisions that effects your present and your future. Every little thought you have is an opportunity to move closer to your dreams. Everything starts with a thought or an idea. Are your thoughts conducive to fulfilling your goals? Are you taking small steps each day, each hour, each minute, each second to move closer to your goal?

I want to make curly clip-in hair extensions that match my hair texture. Why? Because I think it would be fun to try. How are you going to do that? I’m going to buy some wig clips and high quality curly hair. They don’t really make clip-ins for curly-kinky hair. There are loads of YouTube tutorials on how to sew and use clip-ins but I always see it on bone straight hair. It may be out there somewhere but I haven’t found it. It just would be cool to maybe add hair with highlights. I’d probably experiment with how natural I could make my braid outs look when blended with the clip-ins.

In a month, how many hairstyles do you currently have in rotation? Do you change your hair for everyday or the week or do you just have a couple of go to styles?

Realistically, how many styles would you like to have?

Please participate in the poll.

Would you be more likely to read a magazine that featured models/celebs or girl next door types? Would you be more interested in an in-depth interview with Tracee Ellis Ross, Sabina Karlsson (or another curly/kinky hair idol) over a girl that’s not famous, but with your idea of perfect hair?

You can’t have both, you have to choose one.

Do you live for designer clothes. Do you like being exposed to designer clothes even though you wouldn’t dare spend the exorbitant amounts of money? Do you like looking as designer clothes and coming up with your own interpretation? Or are you more of an out of sight out of mind girl’: if you don’t see it, you can’t torture yourself lusting after it? Or maybe you’re just not into fashion at all?  

A couple of readers have been inspired by Rihanna’s red hair, but wanted to know if a bold red color would work on darker skin tones.

If you’re conservative, you might choose a subtle more natural looking red. You should look at swatches with a hair stylist and perhaps go to a store that sells hair and play with the different shades against your skin tone. Before you make a commitment to color, it might be a good idea for you to use hair augmentations to test drive a color or you might actually just want to wear hair augmentations to avoid coloring your hair altogether. Chemically dying your hair is very risky. If you’re looking for a change, temporary hair pieces are a healthier option. Just be sure that you’re taking care of your hair underneath and that you’re avoiding too-tight-braiding practices.

Kelis may be a little darker than Rihanna. You can see the red working for her skin tone and curly hair. source: bvhairtalk

 

I love jet black hair, but I am allergic to black dye. I've been searching and researching ways to get black hair and I stumbled across a recipe in one of my favorite books, The Herbal Home Spa.

The recipe consists of combining equal parts dried indigo, dried lavender, dried black malva flowers and boiling water. Basically you'd grind all the dry ingredients into a powder and then add the boiling water until the consistency is a thick paste. You want to make sure to use a glass or porcelin bowl because metal will affect the color. Next, cleanse and rinse your hair, apply the mix with gloves. This will stain the skin so you'll want to avoid your scalp and skin. You might consider using a noncomedogenic oil or butter to line the perimeter of your hair and ears. Make sure the paste is in from roots to tips, apply plastic bag, leave on 30 minutes to an hour and rinse until the water runs clear. Cleanse and condition once more being sure to rinse with cool water.

I'll get around to trying this one day. It's just so hard trying to find all the ingredients. I know about all the henna sites that sell indigo, but I'm very intrigued by this recipe because it doesn't require the use of henna.

I'm actually on the fence about hair color. Some days I miss the ash blonde highlights I had in college or the blue-black hair I had when I moved to Miami. Lately I've been wanting to try a red because I've never been red (despite the red cast you've seen in my pictures), but I won't make any rash decisions.

I used to do Mayonnaise deep conditioners when I first started being more conscious about the way I cared for my hair. I loved it because it was so cheap and I could use as much as I wanted without worrying about the price. Also, I’m not a big mayonnaise kind of girl, so I’d buy some if I had a craving for a sandwhich but then I’d end up just using it on my hair since I knew I wouldn’t finish the jar.

You’ll want to use a homeade mayo or a natural mayo that you can buy at a natural food store. You can google a recipe for mayo and it typically calls for egg yolks, vinegar, an oil and water. The eggs add protein, the oils are emollients, the water is for moisture and the vinegar helps to maintain the proper pH of your hair. Some recipes will call for other ingredients that you can skip when making mayo for your hair: lemon juice, salt, cayenne pepper and mustard.

You can doctor up your natural store-bought mayo by mixing in an extra egg yolk, add honey, adding more oil or a little more vinegar (apple cider vinegar is best).

If you can find a store-bought conditioner that’s salt free then good for you, but it’s going to be hard. That’s why if you’re going to do the mayo deep conditioner it’s going to be better to make it yourself. Salt can have a drying effect, but it is high in minerals and acts as an astringent and antiseptic so it isn’t all bad. Just be aware of that when using store-bought mayo.

Once you have it all mixed up and it’s all creamy, just maasage it into your scalp and apply from root to tip. Apply a plastic cap and leave it in for at least 30 minutes. You can also use the condition and re-condition method here. What’s that? It’s when you reapply the conditioner 3 times in 10-15 minute intervals and use a heat source: steamer, dryer, hot towel or conditioning cap.

Extra Tips:
You’ll want to make sure your hair is detangled and sectioned off before applying.

You can do this on hair before it’s washed or after. Experiment to find what method works best for you.